Not Young Enough

Can't get...
enough music.

Can't get...
enough time.

Can't get...
enough love.

If you were to always fulfill those three statements,
well,
can't get enough of you then.

As we continue to step forward,
sacrifice and change
become more frequent.

The more opportunities we have to forgo.

A couple of decades later...

All those opportunities you relinquished may have faded,
but your mind certainly will never forget.

I wish I could pick up another instrument,
learn another foreign language,
participate in another sport,
join another club.

But those times to do all you wanted are past now,
(hence the past tense).

All those times you said you weren't old enough to do something,
when all along...
it was in fear that you would never...
be young enough... again.

Part 1: The World is Biology

First, you must exist, and then you're placed in the circle of life.

The mother gives birth to a baby boy. He cries. That is all he knows how to do, what else do you expect? But believe me, it is far more than that. If you really contemplate this through, dive deep into his world, the baby is surely perplexed. However, he is also sending a message, as if it were speaking in esoteric acronyms. The baby is not making these screeching and raucous screams because his body asks for sleep, or else they would not have four to six hours to kill. They make your head spin because they are in pain. Who wants to go through another lifetime of suffering? If the life expectancy is eighty years, well, this baby most definitely wants out as soon as possible.

Sure, heaven, nirvana, enlightenment, being rid of oneself, nothingness, whatever the ultimate destination you prefer, is the path we all strive to create for ourselves. But the baby wants it done in the least amount of time. If it can avoid another language, another enigmatic presence on mother earth, then why not?

When the baby grows up, he becomes just like all of us, with so many questions, an insatiable curiosity, an unpredictable mind, and a niche inside a conditioned and perhaps a corrupted and chaotic society. And like all of us, those questions are unanswered, that curiosity is put on hold, his niche becomes nomadic, and he no longer remembers what he wants, or if he has what he wants, he doesn't know where else to make his mark. Like all of us, that first baby cry was because it hurt being clueless, it hurt being small, it hurt being small in a small world. He's only here because suicide is sinful. He's only here because he has to be, to live life to the fullest, whatever that means. Together, we make up this world, and now we must morph into something we can't exactly identify.

Don't be fooled by the cuteness of the baby, he is crying for your help.

Prologue: The World Nascency

Before I begin my expedition on the world's most popular subjects, we need the foundation.

Are patterns, standards, and a structure of behavior what people want? It seems as if our lifestyle and our environment demand these three items. Believe it or not, people want to feel safe; they want a reason to live. It simply feels comfortable to be able to conform to a specific shelter.

The question is, what do we attribute our ethics towards? Is it mathematics because we can prove or verify our miscalculations? Is it religion because we have a strong conviction for it? As of now, everything seems to coexist. But we all know that is not a good enough answer. We're not satisfied with that are we? People are wounded by the mystery of the world, and to say all are plausible reasons would only leave us in remorse. Something is defective about the way this world turns, and we all want to discern fact from fiction.

That would be the ultimate independence.

The Invisible Line

Love vs Obsession

This person enjoys going out with you, cannot stand a minute without you, cherishes every moment he or she has with you, cannot sleep without being with you, cannot breathe without thinking of you. Is that love?

Moral vs Immoral

Everyday, when the pledge of allegiance is announced, this person hears the words, "under God," he or she does not believe in that though, but the administrators keep the intercom on anyway, because those two words "under God" are inspirational, in some way, unifies the people, it is what we worship. This person does not care though, for he or she does not believe in God, perhaps because this person is of a different religion; but one day, he or she has heard years and years of the words "under God," and begins to believe. Is that moral?

Reality vs Fantasy

This person has been dreaming all of his or her life to be a singing star, but his or her parents tell their son or daughter to face reality, that it is not practical, that it cannot be done. Money is not spent at all toward his or her dreams, not given a chance. This person ends up going the conventional route: high school, college, an internship, a job. Did the parents really know this person could not reach the goal? Was this person's dream really unrealistic?

Creativity vs Insanity

This person has the best idea ever: teleporting. He or she skips school, does not ever go to high school or college. Everyday, he or she sits in the laboratory creating gizmos and gadgets until one day, maybe, he or she will create one that works. This person sets aside at least five years of his or her life trying to perfect the teleport. If it works, this person is a multimillionaire, or even better. If not, destitute. Is this person insane?

Courage vs Stupidity

This person wants to successfully reach the summit of Mount Everest not once, but twice. Obviously, each time he or she climbs this magnificent, daunting mountain, it is quite dangerous, life-threatening perhaps. The person does not make it on the second attempt. Is this person courageous?

Gambling vs Greed

This person has won five straight poker hands, but the odds are against him with the cards he holds this time. But then again, he has won five straight hands. He decides to call his opponent's all-in bet and loses. Was that due to an act of selfishness?

Light Blue vs Dark Blue

Two people look into the distance, as the ocean waves splash and seep through the sand. As the water flows closer and closer to you, it's dark blue, but as you look further and further away, it becomes a light blue. Where does it change? Can the two of you come to an agreement on where?

Pain vs Pleasure

You are working out, the muscles tighten as you lift the weights, the adrenaline rushes as you jog. The next morning, you're cramping, wondering how much you weigh, wondering if it was all worth it. Nevertheless, you go out and exercise, work out again to look good. Is that pain?

You want more chocolates. You just need more. One is not enough. You are just going to eat some while you're bored, because you love those chocolates. Meanwhile, your body takes in more and more sugar. Is that pleasure?

War vs Peace

You have tried solving it in every way possible, supposedly. You have tried diplomacy, compromise, negotiation, everything. But nothing has worked. So you decide to take a further extremity: divorce papers, club fights, pushing and shoving, tackling, arguing, complaining, crying, stabbing, ammunition, war. Did that really solve the problem?

It all depends right?

Maybe there will never be agreement with these items or anything else we come up with, or maybe we're just not trying hard enough. To be in a happy world, everyone needs to be happy, but there also needs to be balance. People will continue to complain and argue in this world about the smallest things. But maybe the fine line could be less mysterious if we just appreciated what we had, if we just felt blessed with what we can do. Maybe life isn't so complicated and we just complicate it further. Maybe we just create those fine lines ourselves to make excuses. Maybe we just don't see it the way we are supposed to see it. So as we keep tipping the scale back and forth, the question is: will we ever reach equilibrium?