Dare to Dwell

"Chronic remorse... is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrong-doing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.... Art also has its morality, and many of the rules of this morality are the same as, or at least analogous to, the rules of ordinary ethics. Remorse, for example, is as undesirable in relation to our bad art as it is in relation to our bad behaviour. The badness should be hunted out, acknowledged and, if possible, avoided in the future. To pore over the literary shortcomings of twenty years ago, to attempt to patch a faulty work into the perfection it missed at its first execution, to spend one's middle age in trying to mend the artistic sins committed and bequeathed by that different person who was oneself in youth-- all this is surely vain and futile. And that is why this new Brave New World is the same as the old one. Its defects as a work of art are considerable; but in order to correct them I should have to rewrite the book-- and in the process of rewriting, as an older, other person, I should probably get rid not only of some of the faults of the story, but also of such merits as it originally possessed. And so, resisting the temptation to wallow in artistic remorse, I prefer to leave both well and ill alone and to think about something else." ~Huxley

Saturday, March 7, 2009

It's No Lie

It's so wrong, but it's true.

I wonder when it will stop, when I stop picturing others as clueless.

Sitting in the library one evening before an examination.

Everyone stressed, nervous. Frantic.

While everything happened in such a whirl, I remained relaxed, slouched in my chair ready to conclude the day.

There is a glass wall around me, an invisible one. No communication is allowed to go through me.

I just sat there, watching everyone else live, watching everyone else suffer. Goosebumps.

I couldn't pause this movie. I was locked in, wrongfully believing I was superior, that I was the one, that I was the only one that had it all figured out. Life.

Ten minutes pass, fifteen... twenty...

Same thought, same arrogance, same me.

Is this what we're afraid of telling? Is this the secret of the human being? Are people afraid to be hunted down for feeling this way?

"I don't get it, why would you feel bad about this, it's human nature to have a bit of selfishness and arrogance."

"Because I feel like I'm the only one."

"I feel like I'm the only one that feels this way."

At that point in time, something was wrong, yet so right. Something was annoying, yet comforting. Something was changing. Realization.
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1 comment:

Sixpence and A Blue Moon said...

I believe you posted this on fb? Surprise, I enjoy reading it here so much more. It really is awesome! I admire your ability to stay calm when the world around you is stressing and straining. You are centered, grounded firmly, and this is admirable to me. It's not me and I so wish...

Lovely piece of writing. And I love the quote!

November 14, 2009 at 1:06 AM

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