Dare to Dwell

"Chronic remorse... is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrong-doing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.... Art also has its morality, and many of the rules of this morality are the same as, or at least analogous to, the rules of ordinary ethics. Remorse, for example, is as undesirable in relation to our bad art as it is in relation to our bad behaviour. The badness should be hunted out, acknowledged and, if possible, avoided in the future. To pore over the literary shortcomings of twenty years ago, to attempt to patch a faulty work into the perfection it missed at its first execution, to spend one's middle age in trying to mend the artistic sins committed and bequeathed by that different person who was oneself in youth-- all this is surely vain and futile. And that is why this new Brave New World is the same as the old one. Its defects as a work of art are considerable; but in order to correct them I should have to rewrite the book-- and in the process of rewriting, as an older, other person, I should probably get rid not only of some of the faults of the story, but also of such merits as it originally possessed. And so, resisting the temptation to wallow in artistic remorse, I prefer to leave both well and ill alone and to think about something else." ~Huxley

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Life as I Know It

I was asked a question the other day about my future, my life.  Do I know what I want? Do I have a plan and vision for my future?

Yes.... and no.

No, because I cannot predict the future.  No, because the mysteries of life are what keep you here.  No, because what makes you happy are the unexpected joys, and what keeps you grounded are the unexpected, but challenging obstacles.

Yes, because what keeps you anxious are the expected significant life events you will soon encounter, such as graduation, marriage, and children.  Yes, because what keeps you calm are the little pearls of truth and reality that brighten your present moment.  And if you wanted that to continue, you might as well plan a little here and there.

But that's not really an answer, is it? Understandably so.  Let me put it this way then.

When I find myself troubled, scared, afraid, frightened....

There is no plan; there is no vision.  I focus on now, so that my fears are limited, and my mind controlled.  As you adapt to this thought, you realize what you care about, because let's face it, you wouldn't be panicking if you didn't care.  And once you've hit that brick wall that tells you to stop wandering around and to take a deep breath, everything is alright again.  You value the things most important in life.  You're full of heart and goodness.  And what a relief that is.

When everything is going well? Not a complaint to be had?

Well, I don't know about you, but things are planned really quickly.  The next few weeks are scheduled, confidence as high as ever.  When you see your co-workers, you're all smiles.  When you hang out with your friends, just don' tell anyone about your embarrassing moments, or share them all have and have a great laugh!  And....

When you see a child with his or her family, you can't help but wonder what type of mother or father you could be.  They're chuckling, having the time of their lives together.  And you begin picturing that same moment a few years down the road.  I can love just as much, if not more.  I can be a better person. I can climb just as high.



If not, higher.

Some of these children grow up to be prodigies in their own respective talents, and when you witness amazing feats performed through their vitality, it inspires you.  You begin planning as if you've been planning your whole life.

So, I guess my answer to this is that I plan when I have control over it.  If the unexpected happens, I may be disappointed, but I certainly won't be discouraged.  Because I know what I believe in; I know what I'm capable of, and that is my standard.  There are two types of flaws: your flaws and your potential.

Anyway, typical interview question - where do you see yourself in five years?
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